An interview with Michelle Gaye

It’s a question that is posed to me all the time: Who’s the greatest runner in school history? I usually avoid such binary questions like this, because life is not black and white; rather, life (and our track/cross country program is a big part of our lives!) is full of nuance and gray area. However, if the question were posited more specifically – who is the greatest distance runner in school history? – the answer on the women’s side is pretty easy to quantify by looking at the distance-running school records on the track. And the answer would have to be … Michelle Gaye, class of 2015.

Michelle currently still holds the indoor 3km and indoor 5km school records, as well as the outdoor 5km and outdoor 10km records. Her attitude on holding records is refreshing and beautiful at the same time (you’ll read about it momentarily), and it was framed wonderfully by Liza Grudzinski, who held a few of the records Michelle would go on to demolish. The fact that Michelle’s records are still on the books – surviving the onslaught of the current Glory Era of women’s cross country and track over the past several years – is a testament to how strong they are. If and when they are broken – and, again, as a program that’s our ultimate goal – Michelle will be first in line to congratulate the young ladies who are fortunate enough to scale those mountains.

We were blessed to have Michelle in our program for four years, during which she rewrote our record books. We are equally blessed that she and her significant other, Marist Running legend Joel Moss, live locally in Pleasant Valley (of course, we cannot SEE them under the current social distancing guidelines), which has enabled us to stay in close contact with them (until recently, of course). Not everyone in this interview series is on the “front lines” of the war against the Coronavirus – we’ve had a good run of health-care and first-responder interviews. But clearly, the pandemic affects us all, and so the Pandemic Papers series should reflect that. Here, then, are some Quarantine Questions (and answers) with and from the great Michelle Gaye.

Looking back on your high school career as a runner, what were your highlights and what attracted you to look at Marist? And how did you end up choosing Marist over other schools?

I am so fortunate to have begun my running career at Harborfields High School (Long Island). Although the program was not very big or competitive when I first started, during my time there the team was really revitalized, culminating in the Boys and Girls Cross Country teams qualifying for States my senior year. Tim Russo, a Marist (Running) alum, was the head coach and he filled me with inspiration and the ability to compete beyond my fitness level. I found out about Marist through my guidance counselor, but fell in love with it upon visiting campus. Despite starting my senior year with relatively mediocre times, Coach Chuck believed in me and on my recruiting visit I saw how hard working, friendly and kind the girls on the team were, which made the decision easy.

What are some of your highlights of your time at Marist -- both running and non-running?

My running career at Marist had an interesting trajectory when I fractured my fibula by slipping on black ice in my sophomore year. It took me a long time to recover, get in shape, and believe in myself again. The experience was truly humbling and I am extremely grateful to have come back better than before in my senior year.

I am thankful to have had the opportunity to break some school records, and to have had Liza Grudzinski’s gracious support. Over the years, I have come to view the records as beautiful moments in time when I was able to glimpse my potential and push the limits for myself and all Marist runners. I do not believe that anyone truly own any records because they belong to Marist, and I am happy to hand them off to the next runner who pushes the limits of what is possible so that the team can continue to grow and evolve. The current women’s team could not be more talented and deserving!

Other than running at Marist I enjoyed living on campus with my friends and teammates; the dancing, board games, and treks across the beautiful campus.

What lessons did you learn from your time at Marist and what advice could you impart on current runners on the team?

One of the things I learned while I was running at Marist was the power of perception. I realized that when I expected things to fall apart or hurt at a certain point, they usually did. When I ran the 5K, I used to expect to be in a lot of pain once I reached 3K. Once I began having enough self-awareness to check in with myself to see if my beliefs were actually true, I usually felt OK!  In those moments, I was able to let go of my fears enough to see that another possibility besides pain might exist.

If you could change anything about Marist or your experience to make it better or more enjoyable, what would it be?

There is nothing I would change about my Marist experience, but I know that meditation and visualization would have benefitted me. I began dabbling in meditation when I was a grad student at SMU and desperate for some stress relief. The science of meditation and visualization is fascinating, but experiencing the benefits is what has made it part of my daily practice. Meditation can help you develop a greater capacity to let go of resistance, cultivate greater self-awareness and stay anchored in the present. Visualization is extremely effective, especially when pairing a goal with an elevated emotion such as gratitude; having the visceral experience of your goal prepares you to achieve it. These techniques helped me in immensely in 2019 with a career change and passing a certification test.

Looking back on your time at Marist, what aspects do you now appreciate even more than perhaps while you were here?

There were times at Marist when I did a lot of workouts and races alone, so I overestimated the effect of my internal drive on my success and underestimated the support I received from the team and coaches. Sharing such meaningful goals and experiences with my teammates had a much more profound influence on my running career than I realized. Running in college is the perfect opportunity to challenge yourself alongside people who dedicate themselves to the same thing. I could NOT have done it without Coach Chuck and Pete of course; they are amazing teachers, extremely generous with their time, and believed in me when I did not believe in myself. The way the team has continued to flourish is a testament to a great team culture and strong leadership from captains and coaches.

If you could talk to the current team and give them your best guidance now, what would it be?

One great piece of advice Coach Pete gave me after a disappointing race was to avoid approaching things with a “closed fist.” It always stuck with me because it was counter my usual approach of trying harder and trying to control more. When you have set your goals and intentions and put in the effort, there is a point at which putting in more work just leads to more resistance, and you need to let go. My best races were approached with curious excitement and a certain level of detachment rather than desperation to meet expectations. It is a lesson I still work on integrating into my life.

After Marist, you did a post-graduate year at SMU. Describe what that was like and the differences between small-school Marist and large-school SMU? 

I was always a little curious what it would be like to run at a nationally ranked school, so it was an interesting experiment! My training at Marist was fine-tuned and customized over the years so that I could stay healthy and peak at the right time. The training at SMU could not have been more different; the mileage was not too much higher but there were more workouts, which generally felt like races. I am thankful for the opportunity the coach gave me and experience and to have run on a team with girls from all over the world. I ran a PR in the 10K but I never really adjusted to the changes, so I burned out really badly; it took time for me to accept such a disappointing ending to my college running career.

What was it like living in Texas during your time there? Did you miss New York?

Living in Texas was one of the craziest leaps of faith I ever took, but it was a great chance to get out of my comfort zone and open my mind to new things. Dallas is not as much like a country western movie as people may think, it was more of a concrete jungle with a lot of new buildings. Although I found the mild winters more suitable, it never felt like a place I would call home.

Tell us what you are doing now -- your career path currently and what you envision for the future?

I am currently working at a Registered Investment Advisory firm in financial planning, which we call “life planning” since it integrates so many different aspects of a person’s life and wellbeing. I am working on the experience requirement of the CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ designation (only 2,500 hours left!). Through this work, we help people improve their financial health so that they have less stress and more freedom.

Going forward, I envision myself doing more work with people on the mechanisms behind achieving goals. Stuck emotions, limiting beliefs, and unconscious mental programs are huge barriers, and I enjoy researching and experimenting with techniques that help shift these resistances. I would love to bring this to my financial clients, and perhaps to athletes and other people who are interested in personal growth.

How are you and Joel managing this Coronavirus pandemic? What are your thoughts on this crazy time?

Right now there is a lot of fear, which activates the more primitive areas of our brain that is desperate to survive, thereby reserving less energy for decision-making, creativity, and connecting with others. There is a very real challenge we are all up against, but we can be cautious without being stuck in fear 24/7.

Excessive amounts of stress and fear depress the immune system and paralyze us from taking positive action for ourselves and others.

When we can anchor ourselves in practices that ground us like prayer, meditation, running, etc., we can find some safety in the present moment, and perhaps the willingness to let go of fears that are coming to the surface due to the pandemic. When we learn it is safe to experience and release our own emotions, we can be more compassionate and patient with people around us who are on edge.

Also, as part of the CARES Act there is a $300 “above-the-line” deduction for charitable contributions in cash, which reduces your taxable income even if take the standard deduction and do not itemize. If you have the means to do so, this is a great time to support a charity.