Before I start the list, there was one point during Saturday’s
meet at Stony Brook in which Coach Horton had about a half-hour stretch of bad
news that was truly dizzying. For someone who has been around our sport
for nearly half a century, he said he does not remember such an incredible run
of misfortune in such a short span of time. Anyway … without further ado …
here’s the Foxworthy-inspired list!
--When the leadoff leg of your 4x100 relay pulls up with a muscle
injury early in the season, thus sending that relay into a constant state of
flux … you might be a stressed-out coach.
--When your record-setting sprinter busts out what might be the
best long jump of his career, but fouls by a nano-centimeter, and oh by the way
tweaks his groin in the process … you might be a stressed-out coach.
--When that same record-setting sprinter and long jumper is on
your 4x100 relay that is supposed to run Penn Relays in a few days … you
might be a stressed-out coach.
--When the 4x100 relay that has so much promise is on the verge of
a very high placement at the Stony Brook meet, but the last baton pass winds up
with the stick on the track … you might be a stressed-out coach.
--When your record-setting female jumper (who also happens to
be a key cog on the women’s 4x100 relay) pops her hamstring and then fractures
her ankle as a result of the hamstring pull and an awkward landing … you
might be a stressed-out coach. (Might? Are you KIDDING me! This may have
been one of the cruelest twists of fate I can ever remember befalling an
athlete at a single moment in a single event).
--And finally … when the majority of your team is on a first-name
basis with every member of the training room staff – I mean everyone, full-time
trainers, part-time trainers, student workers – you might be a very, very
stressed-out coach.
Oh. Please understand that this is only a partial list! Our
distance team is not immune to such maladies -- judging by the number of
crutches, heat packs, ice packs, ice baths, physical therapist appointments, podiatrist
appointments, chiropractic appointments, orthopedic surgery appointments,
allergy specialist appointments, emergency room visits, health services visits,
blood tests, antibiotic prescriptions, and who knows what else – we have
endured for the past several weeks and months. After a relatively injury-free
cross country season, track and field has more than made up for lost time. Call
it law of averages, Murphy’s Law, whatever … we might be stressed-out
coaches for good reason! Here’s hoping we can make it through the final few
weeks of the season with a little less stress.
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