Middle school daze

It was a long time ago. Stretching into the deep recesses of my mind, I’m trying to remember seventh grade. That would be the school year of 1976-1977. That’s a long time ago. What was I like in seventh grade? What were my middle school years like? Like most of us who have moved past those three years, my quick, reflexive recollection of middle school was this: It mostly sucked. There was a lot of confusion, a lot of unexpected changes. On a lot of levels. I think. Again, that was a long time ago. Fast forward to the school year of 2018-2019. Our youngest son is in seventh grade. He was in sixth grade last year, the first year of middle school, and it was pretty uneventful as far as I can recall. The word “uneventful” definitely does not fit now, as it applies to him, in seventh grade. The last few months, in particular, have been challenging for us. There have been changes in behavior, mood, attitude. Several people have assured me that this sort of thing is “normal” and “not to be concerned” about it. Yet, I walk around with a pit in my stomach. My sleep is affected. Where did my son go? Who IS this kid? Why does he act as if a simple conversation with me is a huge chore? Why is he on his damn phone so much? Why are we ALL on our damn phones so much? (That’s an entirely different topic). This and so many other questions.

But then? But then … I stretch into the deep recesses of my ever-aging brain. I think back to my adolescence. The only phones had cords and were attached to the walls. Prehistoric, I know. Anyway. Think. Think. Think. My early teen years. My relationship with my father. And you know what I remember? I remember being perpetually annoyed in his presence. Not anything he would say or do … just, I don’t know. I would bristle at anything he would say or do or ask me to do – good, bad, in between. Maybe this is what our youngest son feels around me. But why? Why? Terry Horton likes to refer to middle school years as “hormones with heads” … and that about sums it up. Throw in an iPhone, some Fortnite, and the usual viciousness of middle school relationships (exacerbated by social media, etc.) and you have what you have. Middle school days. Middle school daze. When should I just chalk it up to “this stage” or when should I be legitimately concerned? That’s my dilemma as a parent, our dilemma as parents, right now. The middle school days were not this angst-ridden and challenging with our other two children. Why? Who knows? It just wasn’t like “this” … so what do I say, what do I do, how do we handle the blank stares, the defiant attitude, the one-word answers. Do we just ride it like a bad wave or a thunderstorm? Questions without answers. Middle school days. Middle school daze.