Let’s talk

We all spend a lot of time with our faces glued to screens. All of us. This is a fact. Whether it be our smartphones (definitely our phones!), Apple watches, iPads, laptops, etc., all of us spend hours a day on screens. Again: These are facts. It is changing the way our brains our wired. It is changing the way we live our lives. I think about this stuff all the time -- because it pertains to me, to my family, to my extended family (all of you on the Marist track/cross country teams, as well as all of our loyal alums, especially younger ones). I think about it also because I just read a new book by Cal Newport entitled “Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World.” Last summer, I read another book by this author called “Deep Work” (an excellent read) and it stoked my thoughts about how distracting, intrusive and disruptive our screens can be in our lives. This is not a book review, per se, but let me say this: We all would do well to read this book. (The author probably would not like to know that I ordered the copy you see here out of the library!) Newport makes some compelling, thought-provoking comments, suggestions and suggested practices (hacks?) about how we live and how we can live, in regard to our screen time and screen usage. At the very least, reading this book will allow you to take stock in how you live your screen lives. Perhaps you may alter one behavior as a result of reading it. Maybe more. Maybe not. 

Reading this book was well-timed for me, as it came during Spring Break. During breaks from the team – the three-week interval between semesters, this Spring Break and of course the extended, nearly three-month hiatus from daily team activities during the summer – I become acutely aware of my old-school, semi-disconnected style. In short: I miss my team. I miss my athletes. Unlike most coaches these days who are especially more well-connected coaches (mostly younger than me, but all ages really), I only stay in touch with a sliver of the team – mostly the athletes who text me with questions and updates. Basically, it’s an “as needed” relationship during these breaks. And with this generation of athletes and young adults, I’m not certain this is the most effective way to be their coach. But alas, it is my way. I believe that many student-athletes in this generation expect and crave that constant buzz of connectivity (usually via texting) on their phones. I’m not there. One of Newport’s theses in the book is something he calls the philosophy of “conversation-centric communication” – you know, talking to people. Talking. Not texting. Not connecting on social media outlets like Instagram or Snapchat or Facebook. Talking. Obviously, during these breaks from practice, talking and face-to-face communication are far less possible. And given the penchant for many of us (all ages!) not to actually make and take phone calls these days, talking has been relegated to a quaint relic of past generations.

Of course, I’m exaggerating. But not by much! Again, it’s why I miss my team and our athletes during the breaks. I look forward to face-to-face conversation. Lately, we have been going out of our way to make it happen – athletes “checking in” with me on Mondays, which are typically off days from practice for our XC/distance crew, is a small example of this. When athletes are student teaching or working (like Hillman) and I don’t see them on a regular basis, something is lost in the coach-athlete relationship, despite the steady stream of lengthy texts back and forth (yeah, Dan, that’s a reference to you!). During this past week, I spent several days reconnecting with my closest friends, men from my past and present who I do not see regularly and to whom I feel less connected despite sometimes frequent texts and less-frequent Facebook messages. I sat down for lunch and for extended coffee conversations with them. I just got back from a brief visit to Fort Myers with my youngest son, and I was able to reconnect in person with my brother-in-law, another one of my best friends on this planet, and his family. We went on walks. We talked. It was good.

Newport would definitely approve of this. He would also approve of the fact that I do not have social media on my smartphone. He would not approve of my constantly checking my phone for texts and emails; some of the hacks (he would hate that classification) that he recommends in this area I may try to implement. Newport’s perspective is backed by research (he’s a computer scientist) but also somewhat flawed (in my humble opinion) in that he criticizes something (social media) that he has never used. That’s right. He’s never been on social media! My somewhat immature view on this: How can you criticize something you’ve never experienced first-hand? He dismisses this logic, probably rightly so. But still … it makes you wonder. He offers several strategies in his book, like a “digital declutter” and old-fashioned ideas like going for long walks (definitely approve of this), keeping a written journal and not “liking” things on social media. Ooops. Sorry. I said I wasn’t doing a book review. I’ll stop there with that. Anyway, what’s the point of this post? I’m not sure. I guess it would be this: Be cognizant of your screen time. I’m not suggesting we all become Luddites and shun it all, go back to a flip phone and go analog (a favorite Newport concept) all day every day. Just have an awareness of it all, note how it makes you feel, how in a subtle way it is changing our human interactions, our lives really! For better or for worse? I’m not smart enough to say. Just think about it. And maybe, just maybe, let's have a good old-fashioned conversation about this topic. Or anything else.