Being Bartolo

He celebrates his 43^rd birthday today, and he does so with a prodigious girth about his midsection. Hmm. A middle-aged man in America celebrating his birthday with extra pounds in his belly? Not exactly breaking news there. However! This particular 43-year-old happens to be our favorite player on the New York Mets, the age-defying gut-boy named Bartolo Colon, who last night fired under-the-radar-gun fastballs past Bryce Harper (oh, HIM) and the Washington Nationals. He’s listed at 5-11, 285 pounds (he’s probably heavier than that!), and his BMI is embarrassingly high; his ERA and his WHIP, however, are just fine, thank you very much. In the Major League Baseball world, Colon has been around just slightly less than forever, having thrown his first MLB pitch well before any of my children were born.

As I have cautioned on this Fancy Blog before, we should be very slow to deify professional sports figures (or anyone, for that matter), people we only know by what we see and hear in the coverage of our teams. But since Big Bart has been on the Mets, he has become somewhat of a goofy folk hero, especially in his comical at-bats; oh yeah, it helps that he gets batters out on a regular basis. My son James, an avid Mets’ fan who watches or listens to every game, treats every fifth day when Colon pitches as a sort of a holiday. When Colon made history by becoming the oldest player to hit his first home run – a true miracle – James called me (I was out of town) and was more excited than I had ever heard him.

However! I am quick to point out the many flaws of our rotund hero to my 10-year-old son. First of all, there’s no reason for an “athlete” to have such a voluminous gut; but again, that’s part of the allure of Bartolo Colon. And also, he was suspended for 50 games back in 2012 for failing a performance enhancing drug test. No way to candy-coat that. He did something he wasn’t supposed to do. Very refreshingly, Colon did not file a grievance. He did not make excuses. He apologized to his teammates in Oakland for his mistake and took his 50-game hit. That in and of itself – taking responsibility for your actions – is a nice object lesson from a flawed man whose curious nickname is “Big Sexy.” Another lesson for my 10-year-old: Colon has FUN playing baseball. Announcers call him unflappable. He smiles and laughs, win or lose. Oh, he’s a competitor and he wants to win, but he doesn’t treat it as a grim blood sport (like that HARPER guy). He gets the ball and throws the ball. When there is a delay in the action, like for a replay review or something like that, Colon doesn’t fret about his arm stiffening up or whatever. Like a bored 10-year-old waiting to start the game again, he just looks up at the sky and flips the ball in a solitary game of catch until he’s allowed to throw his 89 mph fastballs that somehow manage to avoid opposing bats more often than not. He laughs. He smiles. He has fun. He enjoys what he does. Perhaps he has a few too many hot dogs. It’s a safe bet he’ll have some birthday cake today. Maybe more than some.

And so we salute you, Big Bart, on making it to age 43 and still putting on a Major League Baseball uniform, and showing us all that you can be serious while not taking yourself too seriously.