Train in vain: When injuries invade a team ...

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, who has made a living on this type of humor … today, on behalf of dedicated assistant coach Terry Horton and the rest of our beleaguered staff, I present to you a list that we all can certainly appreciate: You might be a stressed-out coach!

Before I start the list, there was one point during Saturday’s meet at Stony Brook in which Coach Horton had about a half-hour stretch of bad news that was truly dizzying. For someone who has been around our sport for nearly half a century, he said he does not remember such an incredible run of misfortune in such a short span of time. Anyway … without further ado … here’s the Foxworthy-inspired list!

--When the leadoff leg of your 4x100 relay pulls up with a muscle injury early in the season, thus sending that relay into a constant state of flux  … you might be a stressed-out coach.

--When your record-setting sprinter busts out what might be the best long jump of his career, but fouls by a nano-centimeter, and oh by the way tweaks his groin in the process … you might be a stressed-out coach.

--When that same record-setting sprinter and long jumper is on your 4x100 relay that is supposed to run Penn Relays in a few days … you might be a stressed-out coach.

--When the 4x100 relay that has so much promise is on the verge of a very high placement at the Stony Brook meet, but the last baton pass winds up with the stick on the track … you might be a stressed-out coach.

--When your record-setting female jumper (who also happens to be a key cog on the women’s 4x100 relay) pops her hamstring and then fractures her ankle as a result of the hamstring pull and an awkward landing … you might be a stressed-out coach. (Might? Are you KIDDING me! This may have been one of the cruelest twists of fate I can ever remember befalling an athlete at a single moment in a single event).

--And finally … when the majority of your team is on a first-name basis with every member of the training room staff – I mean everyone, full-time trainers, part-time trainers, student workers – you might be a very, very stressed-out coach.

Oh. Please understand that this is only a partial list! Our distance team is not immune to such maladies -- judging by the number of crutches, heat packs, ice packs, ice baths, physical therapist appointments, podiatrist appointments, chiropractic appointments, orthopedic surgery appointments, allergy specialist appointments, emergency room visits, health services visits, blood tests, antibiotic prescriptions, and who knows what else – we have endured for the past several weeks and months. After a relatively injury-free cross country season, track and field has more than made up for lost time. Call it law of averages, Murphy’s Law, whatever … we might be stressed-out coaches for good reason! Here’s hoping we can make it through the final few weeks of the season with a little less stress.