Once a Runner?

The question was a simple and innocuous one, and my response was quick and without thought – a common practice for me as I tend to think and talk without a filter most of the time. In this case, the answer to the question proved to be quite revealing for me, and is the subject of this rambling post.

While sitting with a prospective student-athlete and her parents – both of whom were runners – last week, we were discussing the recruit’s high school career. And then, as we were discussing the rather prolific and successful marathon running of her parents, the dad asks of me: “Do you still run?”

My knee-jerk, immediate answer was this: “No. Not really.”

And then I thought to myself, “What, am I an idiot?”

Of course I still run! But I do not consider myself a runner, at least within the parameters by which I thought they were asking, nor by the standards by which I considered adequate many, many years ago.

I still run, but I do not consider myself a runner. This is a very complex thought process, I have come to realize. I run every day; I aqua-jog several times per week, as much as the pool schedule and my own schedule allows. Most weeks, between jogging and aqua-jogging, I am logging about 8-9 hours of aerobic activity. But I am not training.

I know; this does not make sense. I will try to explain. Basically, I jog in the morning with my early-a.m. pals, and I do whatever they are doing. Generally, it is something in the 50 minutes to an hour range. That’s it. No long runs. No speed. No plan. No nothing.

Oh sure, I still race, and I do my best when I toe the line. But there is no set training pattern for the races. I run the races at whatever my fitness level happens to be on that day, and that is that. Pre-race nerves? Haven’t felt them in years. It’s quite liberating, actually. I just run as hard as I can for that given distance on that given day.

I stumbled upon this haphazard pattern many years ago, when I realized that trying to “train like a competitive runner” just wasn’t fitting in to my crowded life schedule at home, at Marist and elsewhere. I continued to run, but no longer as a runner. At first, I felt guilty and I felt like a bum. Now, I do not feel anything. I just wake up and do my thing, on autopilot. I just jog and aqua-jog and let it be.

I am entered in the Mohawk Hudson River Marathon on Oct. 9, and look forward to toeing the line with several alumni and friends. But I must caution that I am not actually “training” for the race. Long runs have been scarce to non-existent. I try to plan them, but it just does not happen.

This pattern certainly has its pitfalls. During 2009 and the first half of 2010, my weight ballooned (for me) out of control. But since reeling in my diet and getting wet in the pool more frequently, the weight has come back down to acceptable levels and voila! – my time in the recent 11.6-mile John J. Kelley/Ocean Beach Race in Connecticut dropped a full 8 minutes from 2010 to 2011.

But again, this is incidental. This was not a goal. It just happens, as my daily jogging just happens.

Have I become the embodiment of the title of the legendary John L. Parker Jr. novel “Once A Runner”? Possibly. Will I ever become a runner again? Possibly. But I can’t say that, other this post, I give it a heck of a lot of thought.

There are dozens of runners to coach and advise (present, alumni, etc.), family activities and duties too numerous to mention (I’m not complaining; it’s all good!), and aging family members in New Jersey to keep tabs on (as my ever-aging Subaru has worn a groove into the Thruway over the past two years).

Sure, as I jog with my morning pals or attend races with my Junk Yard Dogs brothers, there are moments when I feel like a runner. But more often than not when in the company of these men, the conversation turns to things other than our own running. Much like golfers talking about their errant short game and poor tee shots, there are few things more dreadful than listening to a runner drone on and on about his training and racing.

And so, as preseason begins in exactly a week and we will once again get consumed with the activities of our Marist Running program, this Once a Runner topic and theme will be put on the shelf till next summer at least. God willing, I’ll keep up my morning jogs, my pool work, and jump in the occasional race with my usual vigor and midpack performances, hopefully upticking in the right direction (but if not, so be it).

Am I a runner? While the question is certainly open for debate, I am perfectly comfortable answering “no” to that query at this time, and moving on to the next topic.